How to Conquer Anger
The question is quite fine indeed. It is timely too. The question is both burning and living. People often ask me questions- tievoid of life. Questions which bear no relation, with our personal life, which are unrelated from our internal life – are obviously dead questions.
Soulless questions, devoid of sensitiveness, are all questions, without life. A question which emerges not as a problem of life, a question divorced from life, is to me, a dead-question.Children, ask questions, out of sheer curiosity. For instance – Papa.
Why this Crow is black ? What this sparrow is talking about? Why these trees are green? Why these flowers are yellow? Children’s soul is not poured, in all these questions. They are asked passant. Just they saw a crow before them, and they questioned, likewise having seen a sparrow, They questioned again, during night, they observed Chandamama and soon shot a question.
All these questions are offspring of curiosity. They are not sensitive, not throbbing with any will to know. Therefore all these are lifeless questions Reply or no reply to these questions, is no matter to the children Children have no desire, for any reply.
Even if their question is replied t.o, they will hardly consider the same. If one fails to reply, children will forget the question itself, after some time, and may not repeat the same.
Once an erudite Pandit came to me and asked- “Muni Sri, What is beneath the hell”? I said NIGOD- Pandit, asked me again, “Is there some vacant place, in Nigod which is situated, beneath the hell?” Smilingly I said – “Why? Do you intend to construct, any flat therein?”Now just consider Even if it be known, how much space lies vacant in NIGOD, that is not going to change your daily routine of life, or conversly if one does not know the same, none would be rereft of any knowledgeable truth.
So. there are many such futile questions, which I consider not worthwhile, to reply. I by-pass such questions. I like to answer only such questions, which throb with life and also I wish to tell you, that if ever you visit any saint, then ask only such questions which are living or if you happen to go to wise and enlightened person, then also, ask such questions which tormient you.
And have become, problems of your life. Waste not the time of saints, by asking questions, which are, neither here nor there. Never assert your presence, by asking questions without sense. Put some living problem, before them, so that they may offer, permanent solution, which may revolutionise your life, which may effect a change in your life-style, and pave the way to achieve something divine.
Many a people ask questions from saints just to while away time.Once a young boy came to me and asked. Muni Sri, when does 15th of August come Possessing as I do.some jokular temperament, I replied, on the 26th of January1′. The young boy felt embarassed and said You also sometime, indulge in joke’1.
I told him. my firend, your question itself shows that you yourself are indulging in joke. Your question was such, to which no more precise answer, was possible, such as I have, given to you. If you just go to a bus-stand and ask any one, brother, when will the bus arriving at 12 o’clock come? If the person replying, possesses even a little mind, he will forthwith reply, whether or not. your mind is okay? The bus arriving at 12 o’clock, shall reach at 12 o’clock”. So questions like these, only possess, the capacity to waste time.
Ask the saints, with due politeness, “How can I release myself, from the mud of mirage? I have lost myself, in the web of evils and passions, how can ! disentangle myself? Can I also acheive, that divine peace and bliss, which you are so blessed to enjoy? During the course of my business, I tell lies, practise fraud, is there any way.
so that I can save myself, from these sins? Is there any way out, for repentence? I am enmeshed in anger, false prestige, illusion and greed, how can I disengage myself from these evils? I feel unhappy due to anger, what is the way to conquer, anger? These then are certainly living questions, the desire for solution of which, is annexed to life itself.
These are the smouldering problems, the inevitable incidents of life, which call for irrimediate solution. And so far as, I understand, these are not the problems of any particular individual, but of the masses, in general . These are all problems of human-life. Every individual who is a patient of anger, harassed and fatigued and consequently most unhappy.
Before embarking on the journey of thought, by expressing the way to win anger, it will be proper to consider, in the first, as to what really, anger is? What are the damages of anger? Wherefrom anger invades?
WHAT IS ANGER?
Anger is virtually a poison. Anger is a poisonous snake, from the bite of which, the soul forgets it’s real form. Anger is sheer lunacy. Anger is a state of unconsciousness. Anger is furnace of fire. Anger is a wound. Anger is a disease. Anger is an endless story of pain.
Anger is a state of spontaneous lunacy. Anger is tuberculosis. Anger is immediate inequilibrium. Anger is a pathological phenomenon of mind.Anger is most terrible, which emanents horrible apprehensions. Anger is most ugly and absurd. Anger is blind, it is deaf and dumb- both. Anger is mental disorder.
Anger is a door towards hell. Anger is a store- house of unhappiness. Anger is an abode of all that is undesireable in life. Anger is a synoyim of pain. Anger is enemy to wisdom.
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANGER
Anger makes a man blind. Whenever it comes into being, it invades wisdom. It comes into existance after assasination of consciousness. No one angers in consciousness. It is not possible to anger, while a person is in a state of consciousness. Consciousness and anger cannot Co-exist.
One can anger only in a state of unconsciousness. Anger’s blow, first falls on wisdom, on consciousness. The moment consciousness departs, anger turns a man lunatic. The moment, wisdom is vanished, anger transforms a man into a blind person.
The man forgets, what he is doing, to which directions he is proceeding, what will be the consequence, thereof?Eyes there are, but he cannot perseive, ears are there, but he cannot hear- Mind is also there, but he loses the capacity to consider. Why?
Because anger bids understanding to quit, after bolting the door of intellect, from within. Anger makes the man thoughtless, it reduces wisdom to Zero. Once a person, returned to his home, after closing his business- shop, in the evening. His wife then, was in the kitchen, engaged in preparing food.
The man gave a bundle of currency- notes, to the tune of Rs.- 5000/- to this wife. The wife placed the bundle, near the hearth-side, and went out from the kitchen, for a while. It was chilly winter. The couple’s son, aged about 3 years was, sitting near the hearth.
When the mother was out, the boy threw that bundle of notes in the fire. The fire got flamed. The little child was pleased to witness the rising flames. Just then the mother, entered the kitchen and observed the scence.
She lost no time, in understanding the whole matter. Anger made her blind. The ghost of anger, rided her mind and brain. She lost her temper. Nothing furthei was required. She immediately lifted the child, and threw her in the burning flames. The child burned and was soon reduced to ash.
Anger thus devoured the lone son. Anger snatched the sole staff of old age. A moment’s anger, made the whole life, miserable. A moment’s inequilibrum became a curse for the whole life Anger is the cause of all unhappiness.
How can one be happy, being in the custody of anger. How can one feel reposed, after being bitten, by a scorpion. Can nectar be imagined, in a case of snake- bite? How can coldness be experienced, after touching the fire? Prisoned in anger happiness cannot reign. It can never happen.
When the husband perceived this tragic incident, he got extremly infuriated. He was filled with hatred and anger, toward his wife. For him, it was not possible to pardon his wife. Infuriated, as he was, he lost all his mental balance.
Immediately he got himself armed, with a sharp-edged weapon, and intlicated a severe blow, on the neck of his wife, which resulted in the diabolical murder of the wife.Anger is a murderer. Anger is violence.
Anger is cruel. Anger is harshness. There is no room for compassion, in anger. How can pity reside in an angry man. Right from birth, there is enmity between anger & compassion. As sun-shine and shadow, day and night.
laughter and keeping the lips closed, cannot happen at the same rime: likewise anger and compassion cannot co-exist. As there can be no friendship, inter se. a cow and lion a cat and a rat, a serpent and a mangoose.
so also there is no relationship vis-a-vis anger and compassion So that angry man, committed murder of his own wife, on being informed, the police arrived, hand-cuffed him. dragging and heating in the street, committed him to custody. Eventually a murder-case was registered. Trial was conducted and ultimately he was convicted and sentenced to, imprisonment for life.
Friends, the fire generated from anger, thus reduced to ashes, this garden of the family, which once bristled from smiling flowers A budding and blossoming family turned into a desert. Anger does not construct, it simply destructs.
Anger is not development, it annihiliats. Compassion breeds progress, anger breeds destruction. Love resides in compassion, Destruction dwells in anger. Forgiveness opens the door of emancipation, anger opens the door to hell.
The seeds of progress, lie burried in the sapling of compassion Anger leads to down ward journey. There is divinity in compassion & foregiveness. The animal in man, lurks in hatred and anger. It is said:-
Banish anger, the mine of all evils,
March onwards, fear the den of devils;
Lest human-bonafide is reduced to shambles,
Mind, even the wisest of the wise tumbles.
Anger is poison. Beware, poison resides not in scorpion alone nor so in a serpent only There is poison in human being too. Man can also become venomus- what type of man?An angry man becomes poisonous. When a man is gripped by anger, poison spreads in the Veins of his body.
The scientists in Newyork (U.S.A.) performed an experiment. They were actuated with a desire to know as to what can be the effect of an angry man’s blood when transfused in the body of a rabitt, what is the reaction thereof. So the scientists, extracted the blood of an angry man, and injected the same blood in the body of the rabitt.
You will be surprised to know, that when that blood, got transfused in the body of the rabbit, after a lapse of 22 minutes, hereto before sitting peacefully and in easy quiet, began to jump, its eyes turned red and yellow and it started showing sings of anger. Just about 35 minutes later this same rabbit began to bite itself.
It started to shrike in a Vociferous manner, it’s respiration become very hot, began to beat its legs on earth, and to, within an hour, it expired.
WHY IT EXPIRED?
Because that blood, the poisonous blood of the angry man, worked as poison. That blood, did not act as blood, it virtually proved to be poison, in the body of the rabbit, psychiatrists opine, that in the moments of anger, when a man is in a state of anger, poison spreads, in his blood. They have suggested that ladies, should refrain, and harm not their babies, allow to suck their breast-milk, while the ladies, are in some state of anger.
WHY SO?
Because, while our mothers and sisters, are in a state of anger, and in those moments of anger, they allow their babies, to suck the breast-milk, their children, later on, become aggresive in nature and possessive of angry and turbulant temper.
In times bygone, man was called, the son of nectar (Amrit-Putra). That same man, has turned, these days, into a Venomous Creature, on earth. Anger has turned, every particle of the blood of that same man into poison, man, who in the glorious past, distributed nectar, has now started, vomiting poison.
Ever did you consider that such a man, when begins to tread on the by-paths, even green grass refuse to sprout on such by-paths. Alas, to what extent, man has become poisonous.And the extent, to which, man has become poisonous, I will like to illustrate. Let me narrate an incident.
A notice-board was hanging in a hospital, on which, it was written that, here is a man bitten by a mad-dog. Just in front of the above information, the result was also written- care not, after 14 injections, the patient, will return to perfect normalcy- In the forementioned notice-board, the second information, ran.
Thus-Here is a case of a man, bitten by black serpent- The result writtten showed that, albeit the condition of the patient, is very serious indeed, yet, there is full hope that his life will be saved.
Consecutively the third information, on the above-mentioned, hanging notice-board, when read, showed, something very interesting- Here is a m,an, whom another man has bitten- The result on the front side declared; ‘No hope of survival’– because- The man who has bitten, is an extremely angry man, who always emited poison.
Even nectar is polluted by anger. The cup of life fuming with nectar, gets adulaltered by a drop of anger. If we sigh against a mirror, the mirror gets dim, and in that situation, we cannot observe our reflection properly, in the mirror.
Similar situtaion exists, in regard to anger. Just a breath of anger, against the mirror of the mind, makes self-realisation very difficult. You cannot see your reflection, in boiling water. Self-realisation, is the wealth of those, who are endowed with forgiveness and tolerance.
WHAT, THE EXTENT OF FORGIVENESS?
Like the -earth. Do we know, the extent of tolerance of the earth? It’s width is immeasureable. People beat the earth with hands, trample it with legs, dig it, pollute it with excreta and urine. Burn fire on it, plough it and God alone knows, the multifarious acts and exercises, we all do, on this earth.
But realise, has earth, ever registered it’s protest, gave vent to it’s anger. It foregives, it’s tolerance and foregiveness, is inexhaustible. In Sanskrit language, out of many names, one name for, our mother earth, is kshma (SFTT).
So. one who is, tolerant like the earth, alone has the capacity for, self-realisation, our Shramana, our Munee, who have adopted the religion of super- forgiveness, alone can ascend the plane, of self-realilasation.
Householders, engulfed in wordly mud, can participate, indiscourses, relating to soul, but they cannot achieve self-realisation.To forgive is not cowardice, it is heroic. Foregiveness is the ornament of the brave. Forgiveness is the real lustre of brave persons, forgiveness is the treasure of wealth, of those who are Mahaveer.
Love is essential for human life, to the same extent, foregiveness is essntial. Love and forgiveness are the two wheels of our life’s chariot. Forgiveness is the blessed alpha to world-fraternity Foregiveness generates, fearlessness, peace and happiness in man.
Man’s lustre is from Form, form’s lustre is from quality, quality’s lustre is from knowledge, and the lustre of knowledge is from forgiveness. Foregiveness is the creed of the soul. It is the temper of the soul. As coldness is the temper of water, likewise foregiveness is the temper of our soul.
To whatever extent, you may raise the boiling point of water, after some time, it will assume coldness: it will return to coldness, to tranquility, because coldness is it’s intrinsic temper, it’s nature, its swa-bhav- A coward can never evaluate forgiveness.
There is no bravery in anger, but to keep, self-control, in moments of anger, can be done only, by persons, who are really brave- Being fully empowered, to forgive unconditionally a man’s misdemeanour, is real forgiveness.
Foregiveness should be unconditional and not artificial. A man who is powerless, weak and discrepent cannot forgive. If such a man forgives, it will be more mockery. Forgiveness is the language of the soul. This language is supreme, it superseds all.
You can never win a person by or through, anger. To defeat anger by anger, is absolutely impossible. You can dominate, your enemy through the power, generated from your anger, you can defeat him, vanquish him, but conquer you never can.
There is a world of difference, between Vanquishing & Conquering your enemy And now, what that difference, is.Defeat is transient. To day if you are powerful you can defeat him. Tomorrow he gets empowered he will defeat you.
In defeating there remains the spirit of revenge, in conquering there remains the spirit of submission. If you conquer the heart of the person he will be affectionate till last breath. He will feel obliged. Mahavir always talked to conquer heart.
He always gave importance to conquer heart. You can conquer others with love and affection and forgiveness. It is not possible to conquer through wrath and anger.If you face anger with anger you will repent, you will get nothing. Anger generates anger.
If you will put combustible substance in the fire it will blast and blow up. Anger is fire dont put combustible matter in the fire. Extinguish the flame with the cool water of forgiveness and affection. Face the sword with the tender threads of silken affection, you will defeat the swords Face anger with forgiveness, anger will disappear.
Angery man is very dangerous, he is like a burning candle. It can not be extinguished very easily. Anger has very short life. Angery man possesses hatred, malice and ill-will. So he dies a premature death.
Will You Like To Face Premature Death?
If your answer is negative, then why you allow yourself to be in the stage of anger? Why do you lose your temper for unimportant things? Why do you lose self control on the immaterial, unimportant comments9 Take resolute decision.
That you will not be angry hence forwarded. I don tknow how many times you have taken such decisions in and deviated and breached. Every individual after being angery repents and takes the vow not to be angery, but he takes and observes the now in breach.
If you want to Conquer enemy i.e. Anger. Conquer it with courage by strictly observing self control. Decision requires practice.Anger can be conquered by continous practice only, preserance, practice and devotion.
The practice of equilibrium, meditation and tolerance can conquer anger easily. If you will adopt the principles of equality in your life you can conquer anger. There is anger because there is discrimination in life.
We can conveniently classify anger as below:
Internal Changes External Changes Under the inner change the speed of respiration of heart increases. The temporary power of the body increases. In acute stage of anger there persists the fear of heart failure. Anger may lead to premature death. In the outer changes the face of the person become red, pulse increases.
The lovely and beautiful life which possesses affection now reflects anger, hatred and malice. The angry person begins to grind his teeths. Whole of the body gets shivering. In a nut shell he begin to lose his natural figure and you will find altogether a changed personality.
The psychiatrists says ‘When angry person takes food he strikes his lower and uppar teeths in order to crush the eatable things.” They further say, that the process of destroying foodamounts to murder. When any person in under anger he says. “I will swallow you unboiled, unprepeared”.
These words indicated his state of anger. When angry person sleeps in the night he grinds his teeth during sleep. If angry person will love he will love anger only. Anger has relation with the loud sound. The psychologist suggest to talk in low voice in order to control anger when we talks and any difference of opinion arises the pitch of our voice go loud.
This loud sound is the indication that the man is under anger. When such situation arises one must be cautious.Voice and anger has close relation. With the increasing degree of anger the voice will increase in the same proportion and the angry person will speak unwilling and ugly words.
Filthy abuses follow the anger. Even an innocent son follows his mother in the same way the abusive words follow the anger.I suggest you at the time of anger you must remember and speak the name of the liberated soul. Arihant, Sidha or Ram. Utter Gayatri Mantra, then anger is not possible.
It’s the human psychology in the state of anger you can not remember the pious names but you will utter abuses. Father was teaching his son in harsh tone. Every father teaches his son in harsh tone. The reason is very simple because their parents have taught them in the same language and same manner.
Now when he became father he is repeating the old story and teaching his son in harsh language. In psychological sense he is taking revenge of his fathers attitude from him own son. This is an endless story, followed from generation to generation.
You must have seen teachers beating their students. Probably they are repeating their own life story. Always remember water and anger has downward tendency. Anger reflects towards weakness, it never flows towards strength. Anger has down ward tendency.
Father rebuking his son, and the son was of modern temperament. How it can be possible for him to listen to his father silently, he was answering. The ego of father arose. Remember ego and anger in fact are real brothers. Where there is ego there is anger. When ego comes anger automatically appears.
The father becomes furious and says “Oh! son of donkey, you are talking beyond your jurisdiction.” When he calling his son donkey, who he is? The son replied in the similar language. Father became frustrateded and said Oh bastard, spoiled, unlucky, mind you are talking with your father.
In anger no talks, no conversation is possible. Friends! in anger there can be no talks but a senseless uttering To talk is no offence but to talk non-sense is offence. Talks are possible in senses but non-sense talks are only possible in the unconscious state of mind.
Save yourself from abusing friends otherwise you will lose pleasure and fortune of your life. Angry man shuts his eyes and keeps his mouth open and from mouth he utters ugly and abusive language. The ugly words comes out of the mouth like bullets and makes the life miserable and full of wounds.
When the Ghost of anger rides over you The mouth is open and eyes are closed Now I relate to you one interesting event. One couple went to see picture with their minor son. Seeing the horror scene the boy began to weep.
People began shouting, “make your child silent. The husband said to his wife, brest the baby, feed him with milk. The wife-replied he is not sucking the milk. The husband said in anger. What do you talk about the baby? his father will suck. The people turned in to laughfter. The effect of anger is cyclically infinite and endless.
WHY ANGER COMES?
The anger comes because it is filled in our mind. If there is no anger in our mind who can induce us to be angry. Anger comes after hearing ugly words, they exist in our mind. If the ugly words do not exist in our mind, there is no power in the world to make you angry The feeling of abusive thought is the cause of hatred, and ill will The feelings which exists in the mind come through bucket of thoughts.
Put bucket in the well, if there will be water in the well the bucket will fill with water otherwise it will remain empty. If there is abusive language inside than it will reflect outside. If your mind is pure and full of pious thoughts.
Then abusive language can never come on your lips. Your mind is full of hatred, dirt and unwilling smell. It comes out. If your mind is neat clean and pious it will reflect thesweet smell. The BLACK BEE will come over when the sweet smell will spread and Black Bee will come automatically and there will be no need of advertisement.
The second cause of anger is non fulfilment of expectation. When we expect regard from some one and he ignores, insults, anger soon starts. We desire love and affection from some one with the expectation that we shall receive, when he ignores our personality reflects hatred. We are at once filled with anger.
For example you are going to your father-in-laws house with the great expectations. The defination of father-in-laws house is as tollow Father in Law House is bundle of pleasure, stay long, from one festival to another Your personality will be changed Your walk will be graceful Your cheecks will be red The pleasure of the same is unexplainable.
You will understand the matter because the hit of your intellect directs. So you went to your father-in-laws house. You are thinking as soon as you will alight on the platform, your brother-in-law will greet you with a graceful smile of regard. They will say.
We hope that your journey was comfortable and full of pleasure. This was your desire, this was your-expectation but when you reached there was no one to welcome you on the platform. This was the first shock to your expectations.
As your expectation was ignored, your mind will be full of felling wonder9 I have informed my arrival and train time but no one has come to receive me. How discourteous the family is? The mind was crowded with thoughts. You engage – conveyance to reach your father in law’s house.
Your mind was running ahead the vehicle. You failed to see the beauty of the city, buildings and beautiful decorated shops. Your mind was busy in thinking why no one has come to receive me When you reached your father in Laws house your brother-in-law was reading a news paper.
He saw you and has not paid any attention, nor hurried How (o Conquer anger? 12 for- welcome. Seeing this attitude your mind become tense and filled with anger. You saw father-in-law there was no plesure left only sadness was prevailing.
With painful feeling you knocked the door, your brother-in-law welcomed you, inquired your welfare, your mind was cooled a little, you felt some coolness. What happends next, we may leave the matter at that. Now the questions is, why anger comes because your expectation was ignored.
Non fulfilment of expectation is anger The premature death of expectations is anger. If we have no expectation. No one can ignore you No one can injure your feelings. If you your self do not entertain any expectation. You can save your self from the ghost of anger.
Where there is question of right there will be anger. Son has not obeyed his father, father is angry. Wife has not obeyed his husband, husband will be angry. The reason is father considers his son and husband considers his wife as slave.
They expect others to obey them. When the situation is reverse, the result is anger.It is difficult to win others on the basis of right, or on the basis of power of sword, it can be only possible by love and sweet in behaviour.
If you want to attract,attract with affection Piousness of heart is real nutrition Defeat is better than victory of sword win humanity with love, being the only reward Anger comes when our ego is injured. Anger comes when our vanity is denied, dishonoured There are many reasons of anger.
One who is habituated to be angry invent reasons for anger. If he fails to invent any such reason he will resort to any pretext- no matter whether the pretext is relevant or not. The stories of Mulla Nasaruddin are very famous and spread in all parts of the world. I tell you one story.
A person come to Mulla Nasaruddin and demanded his axe. Mulla Nasaruddin said, it is not possible to give it today. The man enquired why? Mulla replied, I have to shave. The person get surprised at this reply, but kept mum.
But the wife of MullaNasaruddin felt most surprised and said, “have you lost your senses? Have you lost your consciousness?The man has came to demand axe and you have replied, I have to shave. There is no relation between shaving and the axe. Laughing did Mulla reply and said, the excuse is immaterial when I have to refuse. Why I should bother to seek relation between shaving and axe.
Friends! I am telling you when anger passes into habit the angry man will find the pretext within the twinkling of an ey.e and the debris of anger on others. Have you ever realised why husband became angry on his wife. Who is painfully awaiting his arrival.
Because he was insulted by his officer in the office because daily he use to make delay in joining his duty. As he can not oppose his officer his inferiority complex compels him to get angry on his wife I have already told you that anger has down wards tendency and always comes on the weaker.
Formerly he was considering his wife very beautiful, charming, now he was considering his wife the most ugly like soorpanakha. Anger is ugly and can not realise the beauty and pleasure of life. Angry man fells bread and butter tasteless. He is searching the reasons for anger.
Wife thinks what has happened to her husband. Every thing is unchanged but what has happened to her husband he was reflecting affection, today he. is reflecting hatred. Now the wife is under anger but she is incapable to do any thing against her husband.
She was taught in her childhood that husband is equivalent to God. Every mother taught this lesson to her daughter that she should not reply to her busband. But father never teaches his son that wife cader is equivalent to Goddess.
She must be worshiped Consequently they are- facing insulting life. Now what wife can do? She will have to shut her anger. When her son comes from school in pleasant mood with the intention that his mother will be awaiting affectionately.
When he enters in the house mother without any cause reflects punishment with false remarks. You became very notorious, you have spoiled your dress. The son fails to understand the reason of his mother anger and reflected punishment.
Seeing strange mother attitude, he fails to reach on any conclusion. Whether she is my mother or an appiration He use to enter in the house in the same manner but what has happened to day.
Remember one thing that our outer activities reflects our inner thought. We see out side what is inside.
