Behaviour is the ornament of life, beauty of life. Everything which is essentially needed for beautifying the life, needs ornamentation. Likewise, behavioural grace beautifies the display of the inner conscious of man.
Behaviour, like a coin, also has two sides. Both the sides are directly visible. yet, at a time only one side comes in question, whether the side of good behaviour or the side of bad behaviour. These two relate to each other as light and darkness. When one appears the other disappears. Quite befitting is the following verse:
‘Darkness asked darkness to part with light; the moment light will appear we will be having no trace:19 Light cannot remain with darkness and darkness with light.
In the same way both the aspects of behaviour are there at the same place. But the rudeness of behaviour disappears when grace appears; and graceful behaviour disappears when rudeness appears.
We can influence others only by behaviour, Gentle, sweet, graceful and natural behaviour leaves back the impression of happiness. At the same time, uncultured.rude, rough and unbecoming behaviour creates unhappiness, apart from the emotion of enmity. Here is an example of behavioural attitudes:
A young man, attired in bright clothes. got up into a compartment of the train at a railway station. Instpite of the sufficient unoccupied space, he took his seat right on the luggage of an old gentleman travelling in the same compartment.
Later he uttered something abusive to the old gentleman. who was busy reading his book, and remained silent. After some time the new entrant got down in a hurry at his destination.
The oldman called him and reminded him of the things which he had left back in hurry. The man came and asked him to show the things left back.
It is the few abusive words and your misbehaviour that you have left back. O gentleman, said the old gentleman and the man felt much ashamed.
We often come across these types of examples and look into and have experience of. A beautiful maxim, ‘He whose action is sweet, whose reading is sweet, whose speech is sweet, is loved by everybody and various things with me are sweet. ’20
He is loved by all who has sweetness in his behaviour, action and speech. Those with pious actions are sweet by nature. Therefore be graceful, be gentlemanly by action.
In conversation also sweet words are important. The way of talking needs grace. A short interview will exemplify this fact.
In a commercial company discussions were on about the interviews for employing salesmen to promote sales. A young man was called amongst those to be interviewed.
‘Do you have good command on language?’the young man was asked.
Are you perfect in keeping the books and accounts of cash and sales?’
Will you be able to sell another commodity in place of the one demanded by the customer?
The interviewing chief told. This is all what I have to ask. You could not maintain the common decorum while talking even to me, then how will you be able to be graceful in behaviour towards my honourable customers, how will you care to please them?”
Nobility is reflected in your way of working also. At times, mere behaviour, even with no words uttered. reflects our nobility, to the extent that it reflects our whole personality..
In the official decorum there are many aspects of etiquette which tell of our taste, personality and nobility. Some of them are: Our sober dress; our way of wishing others; our answers to the questions asked; not to disturb the things placed on the table of whom we visit; putting the things after use, at their proper place; not to talk with anything eatable in our mouth or while smoking or chewing tobacco etc; cleaning mouth after smoking etc., bringing a pleasing smile while talking to others: and so on. These conventional rules of manners influence others more than our words.
Nobility and graceful behaviour are synonymous. Good behaviour also is self-introduced. It appears like other virtues in the human race by nature. Graceful behaviour cannot be confined to words. It appears automatically. Animals and birds, human beings apart, present good behaviour, as even they know it.
Emperor Subuktigin, on hunting, one day, saw a young deer in a jungle. His violence turned into mercy. He decided to keep the young deer in the royal park. It was fastened any way. With it he rode his horse towards the palace.
The mother deer, her eyes chasing them, had nothing but to shed tears out of affection. She went following them. Subuktigin, after all a human being, well read the pain reflecting in her eyes. Motionless for a moment at this, he freed the young deer, who just ran to his mother and the two, caressing each other, met with the greatest affection. The emotion of gratefulness was seen reflecting in the eyes of the mother deer.
The same night Subuktigin saw the angels, in his dream, telling him ‘Subuktigin, you have done today a very pious act. God is happy with you.You will climb up the high peak of progress.”
It is a fact that good behaviour, done whether to human beings or to animal beings, would never go in vain. It is always fruitful.
Affectionate behaviour is the greatest religion. Cooperation to any one in any way is a part of this.Behaviour may be styled as the best knowledge, the knowledge of the Brahma.
At times, behavioural sense cannot be achieved by education alone; whereas a man, matured in his behaviour. proves to be more inspiring and praiseworthy than an educated one.
Several etiquettes are inherited from the parents, hence parents are called the basic teachers. The knowledge of etiquettes is gained from the teacher, society. circumstances, atmosphere, environment etc.
The behavioural etiquettes are not taught in a convent. school, college or university. These are attained by the God’s grace through the ancestral heritage.
The other side of behaviour, the rude side, always causes pains in our lives. This includes the act of blaming or defamation. While blaming or opposing others, one should always be aware of mental shock to maintain the mental balance. No greater achievement will there be if he keeps himself away from mental suffering. Anger. fear or disappointment gripping him, he will not be able to save himself from the mental shock.
The best way to save oneself from this type of shock. is indifference: ‘Indifference should be maintained to shed the sufferings smoothly. Indifference generates indifference and remains after all indifference.21
It is by way of indifference that one may keep away with the twin emotions, attachment and aversion: Indifference should be maintained, without which there is no other way out, and which degenerates attachment-and- aversion and generates the ecstasy.”
Indifference fills mind with endurance: it makes one conquer the sufferings by endurance: Many are there in this world who are always busy with defamation and fault-seeking. The wise men should always be aware of such a person or they will also be turned like him. 23
‘One should always be busy with culminating indifference, where meet all the virtues together, and which remains above attachment-and-aversion like oll above water. 24
The ignorant, gripped by greed, have to suffer unending pains; but those with piety, determination and efforts develop their knowledge and strategy to liberate themselves and lead others to liberation by their example. 25
All types of men dwell in the world; some with graceful behaviour and others with rude behaviour, depending on their nature. ‘Good company generates godly emotion, while bad company causes demerit. The godly emotion means the emotion for the welfare of each and every human being.”2 26
We should try to remove the bad element, if any, from our behaviour, so that we do not lay open to defamation. Let us always pray to God to keep us away from vices, let us do no harm to others, let there be no one troubled by us.’ ‘May all beings be happy.”27
Let us remember: the harm done by us to others; and the help given to us by others at any time.
Let us forget: the help given by us to others; and the harm done to us by others.